I’ve done dating apps back in my early twenties. I would match with a cutie, get excited, text my friends, and gush for hours on end. Go on one-off dates that led to…nowhere. Then the pandemic happened. I was fighting for my life by balancing school, work, and boredom. Dating seemed unimportant and I figured I would be chilling by myself for a while. Until I came across a video on my FYP about a speed dating event focused on tantra. The event: Tantra Speed Date.
credit to Tantra Speed Date
Tantra Speed Date
I knew about tantra being akin to tantric sex but after a quick Google search, I discovered it meant, “adherence to the doctrines or principles of the tantras, involving mantras, meditation, yoga, and ritual.” All things I can get behind and welcome into my life. I was intrigued. So I booked a ticket to Tantra Speed Date and headed to their DC location (they have events all over the USA, including NYC and NJ).
credit to Tantra Speed Date
Once I arrived on site I removed my shoes and received a pouch to put around my neck. I made my way up the stairs to find a group of people in a circle as they mingled. I was greeted by the host for the evening, Robin. Robin was the tantra expert who would not only explain more about what was happening throughout the evening, but also guide the group through transformative activities.
Connect. Listen. Learn: The Speed Date Begins
credit to Tantra Speed Date
We started as a group by standing in a circle and introducing ourselves, a fun fact, and our reason for signing up for Tantra Speed Date. Some people listed for spiritual purposes, others returning daters, and a few stating the apps simply weren’t cutting it (and if you were wondering— yes I was the latter). A few deep, intentional breaths later and we began.
Robin gave a brief introduction about the pouches on our necks. Robin guided the men to step back and join together in hands while women stepped forward and joined hands. We said words of affirmation, protection, and good will to follow us on our dating journey.
The selection of minute long workshops ranged in depth and activity yet each experience worked in tandem to create a connection among the daters. One activity was a gratitude exercise where couples would declare what they were thankful for and the partner would give praise and recuperate. Other exercises involved a dance party, releasing affirmations, mirroring one another, massages, and embraces. These sessions provided us the chance to get close to others and ultimately, ourselves.
credit to Tantra Speed Date
If a party did not feel comfortable with the action, they would simply acknowledge the other person with a namaste and step to the side. These exercises went around the group so each speed dater got to know all the women/men.
Back to the pouches: women had pouches filled with beads and men had empty pouches. Robin instructed women to place a hand on the man’s heart and put a bead into the pouch before moving onto the next date. That bead was to be either a physical bead (if women wanted to match with the man) or an imaginary bead (which in that case women were to send good energy to the man while pretending to put a bead in).
After some time, I rotated through the circle, meeting men from all walks of life. There were different ages, nationalities, backgrounds, and spiritual practices. Was I nervous at some points? Mildly. I never did a speed dating process, muchless meeting so many people at one time. I learned the feelings of different personalities mingling with my own. I ended up putting a couple beads in the pouch throughout the evening with those folks I connected with and wanted to see (hopefully) in the future.
At last I landed on the first man I started with and the night was finished. Robin gave closing remarks and asked us what we felt about the evening. I replied “The acceptance of giving and receiving, the energies within all of us”. We all came together in a huddle to close the experience with high spirits and say goodbyes (and take a quick survey of our experience).
I slipped on my shoes and grabbed my bag to head out of the building when suddenly… one of my matches approached me. “If you’re free do you want to grab some dinner?” He asked.
I pondered it for a moment and reflected on my night. A yes to new experiences had led me here, why not see where it goes?
“I’d love that.”
credit to Tantra Speed Date
